The Mayor Reunited with an Old Friend

Cleaning the enclosed bookcases, I discovered a good friend...

My Barbie

As a parent, I have observed that “age-appropriate” is a relative term; that is, relatives decide when a child gets a toy. The relative may be mom or dad, even grandparent, but especially the child herself. Yet for me, in the 1960s, the doll evolution determined the when and the age-appropriateness.

Christmas Day 1963, I had been twelve-years-old for one week. My present would be Barbie. Immediately I noticed that she had dark hair like my mother; Barbie was not the blonde doll I had requested. (I was blonde, but every baby doll I ever had were brunettes also.) No matter, Barbie had come to live with me.

My other gifts would be her attire. She arrived in an official box with her pearl earrings, black strappy heels, and that iconic black and white striped swimsuit. The rest of her wardrobe included a very sixties lounge outfit in a bold East Indian design, a fuzzy white coat, and a Dior-design dress with full skirt and little puffy sleeves. These out-of-the-box creations had been delicately hand-sewn.

Hand-sewn? That detail bonded me to my new friend. Her wardrobe would be no different than my own clothing. My mother, grandmother, and godmother made all my outfits (and would continue until I went to college). Each woman had a wonderful tailoring touch and eye for creative detail and color.

Besides, inside the Barbie box, was a booklet depicting her dream wardrobe. And dreamy were those drawings in bright drippy colors revealing the life adventures of a versatile, talented, independent, and creative young woman. All these visions captured what a twelve-year-old girl wants to know about her budding future as a woman.

Her hair, her make-up, her fabulous figure? These details never seemed to touch the reality of my life. Those clothes reflected life adventures and possibilities.

What I soon discovered, however, was that the $.25 to $.50 I was able to save each week would not be enough for the most amazing outfits and accessories. Even if I did manage to save $3.00 to $5.00, Woolworth’s had sold out what I planned to buy. Therefore I would have to go back to examples of versatility, talent, independence, and creativity of the women I knew in life.

In the early sixties, major sewing pattern companies – Advance, McCall’s, and Simplicity – created their own line of Mattel endorsed pattern designs. The cover art was as fun and clever as the “ready-to-wear” wardrobe booklets. Any smart and self-sufficient young woman could have all the designs she wanted for the initial investment of $.50 to $.75.

I wanted to be that kind of young woman; therefore, I learned to sew under the tutelage of my grandmother, along with the official Barbie sewing pamphlet included in the patterns. Even today, I find these directions to be a great primer for anyone wanting to learn the art of sewing. More than just instructions, these directions encouraged the young seamstress to have fun with cutting-up, a stitch-in-time, the hemming way, and getting-on-your-mark. And best of all, Barbie never complained about having handmade outfits, many of which coordinated with the fabrics worn by my mother and me.

And later the next year, when my Barbie met Ken, she found that he never lost interest in her either.

Despite all the protests and complaints about your possible mixed-messages to my unconscious, I remain your friend. The Barbie I knew helped teach an adolescent what real adventures in life we must take to grow-up amid any decade’s superficiality and conformity.

The Mayor Takes Action at Home

Why is this home-remaking an important part of the grief process for me? I am a homebody who was married to a homebody. I am not one who wants to stagnate in and repeat good times: those precious times can never be repeated. I want to savor the wonderful gifts of time and memory and know that extraordinary gifts graced my life for a short time. To be a whole person for my children and others, I have to be a part of the re-creating of a new journey...so

As I wrote in the previous post where I listed some good resource references, I took action on re-creating homemaking after about two years.  

1. I had completed the categorizing, rearranging, and purging (yes, the acronym is on purpose). Well, maybe completed for the time being - categorizing, rearranging, and purging need continually to be addressed.

2. Our shared home had been cozy, welcoming, electic, and nature-inspired. I just wanted to add more feminine touches that reflect more of my personality. For the most part, I wanted to keep the artwork, furniture, and vintage/antique collections. Again, I needed to add a more feminine touch without being glamorous, sumptious, and pastel. I appreciated comfortable, peaceful, natural, sturdy, all with a touch of serendipity: those words could describe me, too.

My mother's pillow was always in her chair at her home.
My daughter's cat is now always in my chair with that pillow.

3. From all my design clippings, notebooks, Feng Shui books, and Pinterest boards, I knew that what I wanted was already there in the house. Paint, DIY sewing, rearranging new vignettes, and rotating furniture and artwork locations were all I needed for me to be happy, busy, and creative. This plan would mean that house integrity was more important. The priority repair list became the following: water heater; exterior pressure-washing and painting; under-the-house moisture control; replacement of the rotted front door frame; repair of storm-damaged roof, gutters, and porch; removal of storm-damaged and fallen trees. Financial recovery and treasured plans of continued travel with my daughters would mean nothing but DIY for the interior for a long time. That was my practical choice, and I resolved to be happy with the decision. 

The tea set was from Horchow in the 1970s. Fabric boxes hold my sewing supplies.
The glass table allows for sew "overflow" and, when padded, as a cutting board.
The watercolor is by Sa Smith, the wife of my children's doctor when they were young.

4. As you know, showcase photos can cause much confusion (and even more frustration if you are on a tight budget). I thought about what room would be my dream room. That room would be my office, created from a small bedroom by my husband as a surprise while I was out-of-town for a weeklong training conference. He did a great job on the room and remembering all the items I had selected or daydreamed of having!

What makes it my favorite room and a perfect reflection of me?

• Provides sanctuary for reading, writing, and study
• Houses my smaller treasures from travel
• Includes antiques and vintage treasures from family
• Overlooks the beautiful back garden.

Optional Advantages:

• Located in "Fame and Reputation" of the Bagua Map (rear middle of house)
• Represents "fire"..me, a fire sign. (also receives the most sun of all the house).

Provides sanctuary for reading, writing, and study

Includes antiques and vintage treasures from family

Houses my smaller treasures from travels

Overlooks the back garden and has the most sun of any room

In the next post, I will share how I took my dream room to help guide my vision for the rest of my home.